selamat hari perempuan sedunia
Being a woman means you live through a confusing but somehow sacred cycle in your body. Being a woman means your body can witness the cycle of life. Sometimes it’s bearable; sometimes it’s not. From the inevitable change to your body when you hit puberty, you look at the mirror and suddenly realize that this is what they called being a teenager. The monthly hormonal change will cause fluctuating emotions and major events in your body. It’d shed your endometrial lining, a monthly rhythm when not only you got bleeding but also the pelvic pain, sore breast, the fatigue, the feelings of unfathomable despair before the cycle. Until that day comes. That day when that cycle stops. The cycle stops, and we’ll think this is the time when we’re finally free, but it’s not. Because we won’t produce estrogen anymore, our bones start to become fragile, not to mention the higher risk of cardiovascular disease such as ischaemic heart disease and stroke. And could you imagine carrying this cycle of pain for years and years? Me neither. But it is what it is, we’re designated to live with those inside us. Being a woman means it’s easy to admit that, indeed, we’re familiar with the feeling of being vulnerable. But it’s hard to sense the pathological process inside us because we’re also familiar with pain. We may feel okay, but it’s hard to know whether this menstrual cramp is normal or if something is growing inside us. A cyst? A fibroid? An endometriosis? A neoplasm? No wonder gynecology issues sometimes come up late at being diagnosed because since a likely young age, it’s a taboo issue to be talked about, reflecting from my first menstrual experience back in my elementary school when I had to called “roti jepang” to my “menstrual pad”.
Being a woman means that within us, there’s a possibility that life begins. A labor. A childbirth. Crazy to think that we’re capable of bearing such things. Then life transforms, a process of nurturing one’s lives. A motherhood. Such a magnificent journey when I saw my mom and my sister and all the women around me being so tender, so frustrated, and so nurturing toward their child. And being a woman means you’ll let go. Sometimes, a part of yourself, but it doesn’t mean you’re not a whole. You may lose, but you’ll find.
Being a woman in this patriarchal and capitalist society means you have multiple roles. And you have to be perfect at being all of those, all at once. A mother, a worker, a sister, a neighbor, a teacher, a student. The fact is no, not at all at once. It’s impossible to excel on your own. You’ll need a support system, systematically by government and the power of community care. But remember that our government had such policies that weren’t woman-friendly and our culture of dismissing women’s rights. Inequality is everywhere. I’ve read somewhere on Twitter (x) that being a woman means you’ll have empathy toward your mom (and other women), and that happens to me. It flames the rage inside me. There’s an ache and rage every time I see the news about an early-age marriage, a translocate intra-uterine device, a woman of a family who couldn’t afford their needs if only had a single income so she put herself on multiple role, as a worker and as a mother, AND as a wife but she got 0 support from the place she work and even her husband. So she has to work tirelessly 24/7, both at work and at home. Or how a woman chooses to give up her dreams for her family but ends up experiencing domestic violence. I won’t romanticize that women sacrifice because it shouldn’t be like that. It shows how fucked up the world we live in.
There’s an ache and rage in me every time I see a woman who couldn’t choose her path because of her conditions. Structural poverty forces her to lose her youth and puts her at risk. Social constructs snatch her confidence because of unrealistic beauty standards, reshaping her mind by gaslighting her on how to be a “good woman that attracts man” until she starts to lose her authentic self.
Being a woman means a long-life of resistance and care. The practices of care as a form of resistance are so powerful. Resistance is a constant struggle for freedom. Go read the news about Palestine, about Iran, about India, about Papua. Talking about resistance is also talking about them. How they struggle to fight for their basic rights, to live freely and safe.
It’s crazy how there’s a cascade of complex events inside and outside us. It’s tiring, it’s frustrating, it’s causing another wound.
“Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women,” said Dolly Alderton in her book, ‘Everything I Know About Love’.
I think it’s not only love.
But also about life
and a light.
semoga makin akrab sama tubuh kita sendiri karena dari kecil udah kena represi dari mulai belajar sendiri tentang menstruasi dan reproductive health karena sekolah gaada kurikulumnya dan sekitar juga tabu, dari mulai nyensor pembalut jadi “roti jepang” dan kata menstruasi jadi “dapet”, questioning masalah mimpi-mimpi karena pertimbangan gender, dan melihat ketidakadilan yang dilanggengkan karena society yang patriarki.
ini tulisanku waktu period cramp:
Aku capek menjadi perempuan
Tiga hari sebelum menstruasi, aku tidak nyaman akan tubuhku sendiri
Memang ini tubuh yang kukenali, tapi ada asing yang hadir tiap tiba siklus ini. Seperti halnya lapisan terluar rahimku yang bersiap melepaskan diri karena sel telur tidak dibuahi. Sial. Kenapa tubuhku tidak bisa kukendalikan? Kenapa tubuhku harus mempersiapkan diri menyambut bayi? Kenapa tubuhku harus menjadi yang menunggu?
Aku capek menjadi perempuan
Dua hari menuju menstruasi, tanpa kukehendaki, aku lebih rentan dalam merasa, indrawi maupun emosi. Mudah menangis, ingin meraung, ingin tidak mengada, bingung.
Bingung kenapa lebih sadar akan rasa asin sayur bayam di kantin, bingung kenapa ingin meraung di ruang tutorial karena orang-orang terlampau berisik memikirkan dirinya sendiri, padahal aku juga begitu. Lalu bagian paling tidak kusukai adalah hadirnya penyesalan-penyesalan akan pilihan hidupku dan kemarahan akan masa depan di negara ini. Keinginan untuk sesegera mungkin melarikan diri. Dari semua pekerjaan. Dari lembar-lembar skripsi. Dari Surabaya. Dari keluarga di rumah. Dari Indonesia. Dari kepalaku sendiri.
selamat hari perempuan sedunia. terima kasih kepada perempuan-perempuan sebelum aku dan perempuan di sekitarku yang terus melakukan perlawanan dalam bentuk apapun, sehingga aku bisa hidup sekarang ini dan ikut dalam perlawanan. gaada yang salah dengan menjadi berisik, baik itu dalam tulisan, dalam berserikat, dalam melakukan aksi. gaada yang salah dengan mengamuk. gaada yang salah dengan melawan.
May the lights enter you.
Long live resistance.
love and light,
F.
08/03/2025
